Potty Training Boot Camp and other tips

I have a potty mouth head. That's what happens when you do potty training boot camp for four days. You are consumed. You think about it when you eat, sleep and well...potty. 

It all started when I realized that my slow work days were going to come to an end soon and I had accomplished very little in the way of big milestones. I had this overwhelming fear that I would get so busy with work that when I really need to potty train Charlie, I'd be too busy and kicking myself for not doing it during my slow time. After all, I knew he was ready...well I hoped he was. 

You see I waited and waited and waited to get started. Why? Mostly my own fear. I wasn't ready to mentally tackle what I had worked up in my mind as a huge deal. Sort've like getting rid of their bubbies (pacifiers) that we finally tackled at Christmas. We thought it was going to be horrible. And it was...for 36 hours. Then it was smooth sailing and we both thought "what took us so long?"

I also knew he wasn't quite ready yet prior to this point. He would scream at the mention of even sitting on the potty. This was a recent conversation prior to boot camp: 

Me: anyone want to sit on the potty? 
Cole: I want to sit on the potty! I want an M&M! 

Me: Charlie! Cole went on the potty and is getting M&Ms!
Charlie: Aww nuts! 
Me: You want to try and sit on the potty? 
Charlie (screaming and a wee bit mad): NO! I DON'T CARE! 

Yep, that was our life. At the mere thought of suggesting he sit on the potty, he'd scream and cry. I forced him to sit on the potty one day and he cried crocodile tears saying "mommy get me outta here!" No amount of bribing would work - I tried candy, promises of toys, ice cream...which did get a "which ice cream store?" question from him mid-scream but he didn't like the answer. If I had answered "the one at Nana and Pop-E's house 5 hours away" he might have gone for it but I wasn't that desperate yet. 

At any rate, I decided 3 days before I initiated boot camp that it was time. There was no magical sign, just a fear I wouldn't be as focused later. Off to the Dollar Store I went. I have read posts about M&Ms and other treats but I also knew Charlie was motivated by little toys more than candy. It fluctuates but he leans towards toys. So toys it was. 

Armed with my basket of dollar toys...

some M&Ms just in case...

and our potty seat (which makes it easier for him to fit on a regular potty...and it has a guard for added spray protection)...

and it was time. 

After talking about it all week, we woke up on a Thursday morning and put on underwear...then we cried. If you haven't already gathered, Charlie is not a fan of change. Once we got over that, I put him on the potty. Nothing but crying. 

Seven or eight accidents later and some whining that he wanted a toy...still nothing. Then I unashamedly called in reinforcements. Anna M came over with one of her sons to "show us how it's done". I have to say that really helped. Having someone to encourage gave us a little boost (and yes it had only been a few hours but we needed the boost already). I had two other friends call to check on us throughout the day. Really I think they were checking on my mental condition. 

I also had to take Cole to the sitter's house so he was no longer a distraction, at least on day one. Having your little brother try to "best you" the entire time is not entirely helpful in these situations. 

Then it happened. It's like a switch went off in his little brain. One little trickle and he realized he could do it. Another trickle turned stream and it was game on. 

I spent the rest of the day asking him to "try" every 15-20 minutes. I set a timer on the microwave so I wouldn't forget. Every time he tried, he got to pick a prize. Suddenly he realized this was pretty fun and I was one proud mama. 

The next day we had one small accident in the morning then he remembered we were potty training and we never had another accident again. Cole even got to stay home on Friday thanks to Charlie being so confident and telling his little brother "OK Cole, you can stay home while I practice potty training." 

I put a pull-up on him at night, just in case, but even that has gotten drier and drier as we master this new skill. The cute thing is how much his little self confidence has been boosted. As he puts it "I'm not a baby anymore! I'm a big boy now!" 

And he's awfully snuggly since he knows how proud I am of this big accomplishment, which this mama will take any day of the week. 

So if you're planning on potty training, here's what I learned: 

1. Choose a reward that you know will motivate your child. Each child is different so tailor it to your child. 
2. Mentally prepare to have accidents, frustrations, failures and to be exhausted at the end of day one. Wine helps.  
3. Don't fuss - encourage and stay positive - no matter how fast you think they should pick it up. 
4. Be sure your child is ready. Cole isn't ready because even though he's willing to try, he doesn't know how to "release on command" yet. I'd rather set him up to succeed later than push him to try now with Charlie. 
5. Each child is ready at different ages. Don't compare yours to another. Charlie is 3 yrs and 3 months old. Others are ready sooner. 
6. Use the big potty with a seat. That way when you want to go out to dinner or run errands, they aren't freaked out by trying to use a taller potty in a store. 
7. For boys I recommend having them sit to do everything at first. Once they master this, they can learn to stand. 
8. Be consistent. I set a timer so that he had to try every 15 minutes and there was less chance for accidents (a perceived failure). 
9. Don't expect it to work overnight yet. Tackle the day time first then tackle night time later. For now we still use a pull-up which we call "special night time underwear" so he doesn't feel like we're going backwards. 

And most importantly...Encourage the heck out of them. I can't stress this enough. Charlie was so proud because we made such a big deal out of it.  The first time he did it without me prompting him, we called grandparents, a friend, daddy at work. You name it. I'm pretty sure he was telling perfect strangers off the street that he pee-peed in the potty now and was a big boy. No seriously. He told a few strangers. And yes, I continued to beam with pride and dared them not to say something positive. 

In the past two months we've tackled some big milestones in toddler-ville. Giving up bubbies and now potty training...boy how they grow up fast. It seems like just yesterday they were two little babies. 

But not to worry, Cole helps us remember they aren't grown up yet...somehow he managed to get ooze (a potty training prize) in his hair. I almost didn't see it since it matched his blond hair. It had to be cut out...like a mo-hawk. 

Ahh! Mischievous boys. I wouldn't have it any other way!