Reflections of 2018

Over the past week I've been very reflective.  So much so that I had good intentions of writing this post on Monday but wasn't ready quite yet. I've been thinking about 2018. How I thought it would look. How I expected it to be. And how completely different it ended up becoming.

But boy was it wonderful. Despite the many ups and downs, I can't help but look back on 2018 and be ever so grateful that God blessed us. He comforted us...grew us...and just loved on us. 

I started thinking of early January 2018. I was working crazy hours, traveling 50-60% and under a tremendous amount of stress at work. However, we had also just spent our first Christmas at home. While we missed seeing my parents and extended family on Christmas, we had a lovely, quiet Christmas with just our little family and Carmen. 

Fast forward just two weeks in to January 2018 and we were knocked down with the sudden death of my mother-in-law. I don't think you can ever really fully prepare for a death of a loved one. A sudden one is even more shocking. How special it was that we were able to spend a quite Christmas with her. 

Through the shock, Daniel and I were reminded just how loved she was. And not only that, how loved we are. Friends brought food. Friends took our kids so we could take a breath. My parents dropped everything and were there in just 8 hours (and they live over 5 hours away!). Friends prayed for us. There were even special ones that came and participated in her funeral or preached for Daniel the next Sunday. It still feels a bit surreal that she's gone. While we miss her dearly, we celebrate her homecoming and the love poured out from it. 

Move to February and March where Daniel and I both have job changes. Daniel left an industry he's known for 20 years, fitness. I also changed clients (long story that won't be aired here) and stopped traveling. While it took me a good 6 months to decompress from the work stress, it was a blessing these changes occurred. Carmen played a key role in my ability to travel without feeling completely like a horrible mom.  

In April, Daniel achieved something very dear to both of us. He graduated with his Master's in Divinity. This not only was a huge accomplishment, but one accomplished over years and years of hard work. I was every so proud to watch him walk across the stage!

And what was even more fun was surprising him with a gift he never suspected. It's now affectionately known as "The Blueberry" around here. 

What was also very unexpected this year were the fun trips, either with friends or as a family or double bonus - both. There are summer trips we always try to take with my parents - a trip to the Mountains of NC, Pirate Invasion weekend in Beaufort, NC and our annual Raleigh visit for a NC State football game. Those we all made again this year and are cherished traditions we have with the kids that I know builds lifetime memories. 

But I feel like the Lord knew we needed some extra family time this year and blessed us with a few more adventures. I got to take the kids to my parents (they were away on a trip of their own) and have one of my besties join us with her family during the Big Rock fishing tournament (mackerel fishing). 

Since we started families, we haven't had a trip together! So this was really fun to experience.  

And perhaps the biggest surprise and adventure this year was our surprise (to the kids) trip to Disney. 

I can't help but believe that God knew we needed a little extra fun this year. It's reminded me that life is so short and that we need to live in the present. But even more so, it's not just about the "gotta do's". 

While I don't make resolutions, I am committed to creating even more fun memories for our family this year. It doesn't have to be fancy to be a fun memory. It can be as simple as saying "yes" when they want to help cook dinner or playing a board game or often in our case, play football in the front yard. But I also want to remember to take new adventures that create fun memories. I'm already thinking what that could look like for us this year. 

So while we are still unsure what our future holds, we are excitedly awaiting to see what God brings us in 2019 for Schrallville. We know that His plan is perfect for us and we can't wait to see what it is! 

We met Mickey! Mouse that is...

Welcome to Disney!

As many of you know, we surprised our children last week with a trip to Disney. I have only been once when I was young and the rest of the family has never been. So it was a HUGE surprise! We left early on Tuesday morning so we could make it in time to hit Epcot and left on Saturday morning to come home. Three and 1/4 fun filled days of Disney and here's what I learned...

1. The best money I have ever spent? Renting nice strollers. 

I rented two single City Select strollers from Kingdom Strollers. I was a little concerned the kids would think they were "babies" but they only hesitated and then hopped right in. The strollers were delivered to our hotel's bell hop and we dropped them off there when we were finished on Saturday. I opted for two singles so we could navigate the crowds better and if we needed to, could split (which due to an epic meltdown one day, we did split for a short bit). I also made sure it was a single handed collapse so it was easy to take on and off the buses. 

 I promise my kids had fun. Those are tired faces you see. Plus they were tired of mommy taking pictures. 


2. My kids love, I mean L. O. V. E., a buffet. 

We were on the dining plan (a must in my opinion) and chose to have 2 character meals, both of which were buffets. Charlie essentially ate rice and any and all seafood on the buffet. Cole added some salad and fruit to his. It was 100% their jam. To be able to walk through line and choose their own meal without mommy or daddy telling them they had to eat something...well let's just say they wish I served a buffet every night. Sorry, boys. This momma is not a short order cook. 

An additional bonus: we got to meet Goofy, Donald, Daisy, Mickey, Minnie, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, and Piglet. 

3. My kids like being scared, going upside down and are apparently have a genetically predisposition to be thrill seekers. 

I thought we might start out slow on the roller coasters and see what they liked. I thought they might like them but I wasn't sure to what degree. So we started with some mid-scary, mid-size, less intimidating coasters. They loved them. 

Since those were a hit we amped it up. This is them in front of the Twilight Zone of Terror (below). It's a drop zone in a spooky hotel. They could NOT wait to get on it and after it was over I got "that's it? Can't we go longer?!?" Cole's pointing at it because he thought it was so fun. 

Perhaps their favorite was Aerosmith Rockin' Rollercoaster in Magic Kingdom because "it's the first time we have ever gone upside down!"  Space Mountain (a roller coaster in the dark) was a close second. This should show you how excited they were to get on. Bless Cole and his closed eyes in so many pictures.

4. Fanny packs are back in fashion but cute shoes should not be worn at Disney. 

A certain friend made fun of me because I ordered a small black "fanny pack" from Amazon just to hold my phone and lip gloss. I knew that would be all I wanted to access easily and the rest could go in our backpack. See? You can totally still wear one!

Shoes. I brought 2 pairs of Sketchers that were slip-on and comfortable. Daniel told me they were hideous. But honestly, they were the only comfortable shoes I had that didn't make my ankle hurt. And since the people watching at Disney is much like that of Walmart, my shoes were the least of the disasters (58 year olds in tube tops and no bra anyone?).

5. Our family likes one full day at each park. 

We weren't sure if we needed one or two days at Magic Kingdom. I had mixed opinions from other families so we chose two days. Having done so, for our next trip, we'll opt to do a partial day at Epcot, then one day at Magic Kingdom, one day at Hollywood Studios and one day at Animal Kingdom. 

6. Late summer is still HOT. 

It was 91-92 degrees when we went, which is normal for even where we live in SC so we knew what to expect...but that doesn't mean we are immune to the heat. We learned many tricks to escaping the heat. Shows, waiting in lines inside buildings, indoor rides...all great ways to escape the heat and cool off. We also bought the kids little fans with a water bottle attached to cool them off. And we drank lots of water. This is us on the People Mover so we could get a breeze, rest and get out of the sun for a bit. 

Waiting for a 4-D show while we cooled off.

7. I loved spending time with my family. 

Perhaps one of the greatest joys in life is seeing your kids happy and having fun. While we still had tears and meltdowns (tired + overstimulation is no joke), there were more happy smiles, laughter and hugs. I wouldn't trade those for the world. 

8.  I still love holding my kids. 

They may be 52-55lbs and not so easy to pick up anymore but I still love holding them. You see, I recognize that pretty soon, they will be too big for me to hold or (insert teary eyes) won't want me to. So while I can, I'll hold them. 

9. Going with friends, especially if they know Disney, is a blessing. 

We went with close friends who have a daughter  and all knew ahead of time that we'd be going in different directions because we have boys and they have a girl. But the fun part? We always met back up for dinner and shared our day. Having adults to text and chat with during the trip was an added blessing. We also met up with a friend from high school and they know Disney really well too. Double bonus! (To said friend: you notice I didn't post your picture? You still remain anonymous. 😉 )

10. The parades are awesome. 

We were able to see the Death March (or whatever it's called) for Star Wars, part of a character parade and then the parade for Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween. They really do an awesome job and are completely entertaining. The fireworks are pretty fantastic too. Oh, and I have apparently very limited knowledge of Star Wars characters but my kids know every  single characters, their genealogy and/or reporting structure. 

Star Wars show at Hollywood Studios

Headless Horseman starting the Halloween Parade

So there you have it. My download on our trip last week. I have finally recovered from the "Disney Hangover" and no longer feel like I've been beat to a pulp or run 5 marathons in 5 days. I'll leave you with a few more cute pictures of our trip. 

Have a magical day!

Learning from Regrets

If we are friends, you know that I've not blogged in a while because of work. I took on more responsibilities with a client and it required travel and most of my energy. What little energy I had left went straight to my family. All my hobbies and outlets took a backseat for a while. 

That's since transitioned so now, if I feel so inspired, I want to pick up the proverbial pen again and blog here and there. Maybe I'll do a house update soon for fun. 

For today though, it's about a much deeper topic than food or design. It goes along with my faith and is a tough lesson I recently learned. In January my mother-in-law, Carmen AKA "Mimi" died suddenly at the age of 70. She had a heart attack from an enlarged heart. She hated doctors so she never went and thus never knew about her heart condition. 

It's been a huge blow to our family. The loss has been felt on a daily basis and in some ways, it's still surreal. I still look out the window and expect to see her pulling in the driveway.

Now those of you who are close to me may think "she drove you crazy, though. Right?"

Yes. She drove me nuts.  On a regular basis. It was not secret and I know I drove her crazy too.

We were COMPLETE opposites in almost every way. That drove us to have quite the numerous amount of differences on a consistent basis. As in daily. Those differences started even from the beginning. 

Daniel and I had counseling early on in our marriage over all the differences and how best to set boundaries, address the issues and manage the family relationships. The Lord healed and restored our family. 

But that's not the point of this blog (although it's a great topic). 

The point of this blog is to share what I learned  through her death and what I wish I had done differently. It's always easier to see things after the fact. You know the old "hindsight is 20/20" adage. 

 

1. Don't let differences skew your view of their true character. 

I often focused on the frustration she caused me THAT DAY versus remembering her heart condition and WHY she did what she did. 

When we were at the funeral, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people that came to pay their respects. People from all over came to share how much she blessed their lives. The Banker who cried when we went by to take care of some estate business. She had just brought them cookies two days earlier. The sweet lady who cleans and helps at the local Chick-fil-A where Carmen was always kind to her. Teachers from the preschool where she spent volunteer time, often praying and encouraging them. 

The list goes on and on.  I had no idea she was praying weekly with a school prayer group specifically for my boys. I only focused on the moment, our differences or her quirkiness that I found weird at times. I often forgot to see how much she loved, encouraged and prayed for everyone around her, now matter how they played a part in her life. 

2. Give grace. 

I was so frustrated two days before she died because she asked if she could pick up some chocolate drink mix. I said yes but to bring it next time she came over. I didn't want her coming back over later that night because it was getting late. That was more selfish on my part. She instantly went and bought the mix and took it to Daniel at work, knowing she was going around my wishes. Did my wishes really matter? Nope. And that annoyed me. I even called her to ask her why she couldn't just wait to give it to us later. 

In hindsight, it was just my controlling nature and it frustrated me. I neglected to see that she was just eager to help. I was quick to react and let my emotions frustrate me rather than give grace. 

That's the last interaction I had with Carmen. 

Before you react or blow something out of proportion, ask yourself, will this really matter in a month, in a year, in several years?

 

3. Accept your differences. 

It's OK to have differences! Differences teach. Our differences often taught me patience. They taught me how to be more compassionate. They taught me more about forgiveness. 

I learned to accept that she and I were complete opposites. It didn't mean it was always easy, don't get me wrong. But in accepting we were different, it allowed for our family to heal and function together. If you need a little time to calm your emotions, take it. But don't let it go on for too long.  

4. Remember who else is involved. 

So often we let the differences between family members separate us. I'm not talking about life threatening, unsafe or other very unhealthy situations. I'm talking about the typical family squabbles. And we had our share! She almost didn't come to our wedding it was so bad! Too many times we blow them up to such an epic proportion that it becomes easier to distance ourselves than deal with the issue. 

If we had not let God heal our family, my boys would have missed out on someone who loved them unconditionally. They would have missed out on her quirkiness, on her Cuban cooking (that they still ask for), on her silliness, on her loving back scratches, on singing silly songs together, on snuggles...on her love. 

5. You can't get time back. 

Carmen died on a Wednesday morning. I remember distinctly thinking Tuesday night as I cleaned up dinner "I should have invited her for tacos tonight. Tacos are her favorite. I need to let go that she annoyed me yesterday and have her over tomorrow." 

Guess what? It was too late. She died the very next morning. 

We always think we have more time. 

If you have long standing differences with a family member, don't wait to work on reconciliation. We don't know what the next day will bring. Your frustration today is not worth holding on to in the grand scheme of things. Take it from me. It may not be easy but you will never regret working towards harmony. 

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." 

(Romans 12: 17-18)

We love her and will always miss her. 

I just needed a little love...

Is it just me or is it just so negative EVERYWHERE!? I mean I can't even deal with Facebook anymore because it's mostly rants, ads and debates. Then you turn on the TV and it's even worse. So this year, when February rolled around, all I wanted to do is embrace is love. February is the month of love after all. 

I don't go all out since we're only talking 2 weeks but little touches here and there make me feel happy. Now forgive the pictures because I snapped these quickly and don't have the best lighting in some. 

Both front doors have hearts to welcome in guests. I love how they sparkle and pop from the road. There's even a heart flag (not pictured) by the front door. 

Did you notice the hearts on the glass in the front door? They make me smile the most. When I see them it says "kids live here and we love them!" I especially love them at night. The boys had fun putting them up. 

Inside there are little touches here and there like the red hearts I found at Hobby Lobby that I placed in plants. 

On our foyer mirror there's a metal heart that coordinates with the sign hanging from our mantle. 

In the kitchen there are Valentine's napkins and a few votives and hearts placed. Again, not much but it's the small touches that remind us that love is in the air (or should be!) 

Our dining room (that's open to the living room) always gets the most because it's where we eat every night and it's also where the kids find their Valentine's Day presents when they wake up that day. 

This year I once again tied red hearts found at the Dollar Store with burlap wired ribbon on the backs of chairs. I smushed one so it's a slightly different shape but not something you readily notice and is quirky...much like those that live in this house.  

Then I placed my red felt runner along with some simple candles found at Target for $3. 

The kids have their own placemats that pull in the colors of our room. They are from Target several years ago (only $1!!) and I put their name in vinyl letters on the hearts. That's an easy trick for cheap placemats. The kids love them! 

One new love touch this year are love notes to my children. I bought simple doilies at the Target $1 bin and every day (or so) until Valentine's Day they get a love note put on their bedroom door. A different color for each child and I try to specify a positive behavior. When they first saw them, they both beamed as they were read. (I might have forgotten and put three up at one time. Better late than never!)  It really is important to fuel our children in positive ways and this one is so easy. 

That's it for my tour of love. Just a few fun changes here and there. I hope this year you'll spread a little love to someone special! Smooches...